31 December 2006

Questions and thoughts for the closing of a year

Is Godard's Histoire(s) du cinema his masterpiece? And will it ever become available in the United States?

If you are one of those people who voted for Miami Vice as one of the worst films of the year on the Internet Movie Database, you're a moron.

With Marie Antoinette and The Fountain, Sofia Coppola and Darren Aronofsky, despite their solid fan bases, have joined the ranks of Todd Solondz in "Third time is not a charm for American indie darling "auteur."'

The theme song for My Super Ex-Girlfriend, which contains the lyrics "the only super power here is love," is easily the worst song created for a film since... well, didn't Phil Collins do the soundtrack to the Tarzan sequel?

Little Miss Sunshine should have been the forgettable "indie" sleeper of the year that we'll forget about next year (à la My Big Fat Greek Wedding), but there's something that's a bit more meaningful about the film to casually dismiss it like this.

Macy Gray should be in every film... ever.

Will Richard Kelly's supposedly disastrous Southland Tales actually come out in April of next year as planned or will it sit around until 2008, the year the film is set?

The absurdity of a film like Big Momma's House 2 making $30 million at the box office on opening weekend must end.

Shut the fuck up about Snakes on a Plane.

When will another artful black auteur emerge to wipe clean the bad taste in my mouth of Tyler Perry?

Even though I wasn't wild about the film, Brokeback Mountain lost the best picture Oscar because Hollywood still hates fags when they're not dying of AIDS or being void of sexuality. And Crash will go down in history as the worst Best Picture winner of all-time.

Daniel Craig and Eva Green are sexy.

Bryan Singer made the biggest mistake of his career letting Brett Ratner direct X-Men 3 and moving onto Superman Returns.

We will feel the death of Wellspring for a long time to come.

Paul Greengrass is one of the finest directors to come around this century.

Even though I haven't seen it, there is no way that The Departed is better than Infernal Affairs.

And finally, I'm in love with Penélope Cruz.

9 comments:

Thomasina said...

Motherfucked if I don't agree with just about every one of those statements. Especially the thoughts on Histoire(s) and Miami Vice.

P.S. How long are you in Chicago?

Anonymous said...

You are on some other shit! Some of these movies are good. Especially Tyler Perry!

Dont you hate that your comments about these movies dont effect anyone? Dont you hate that it really means nothing? WOW.

I wonder what your close family and friends think about you. Something to think about huh? LOL

P.S Catch a BRICK!

Filmbo said...

I liked Miami Vice, but you seem to be reacting to the outlandish hatred of the film rather than the film itself. It was fun though.... "Let's take it to the limit one more time."

Godard has probably made better films. I haven't seen Stories of Cinema, but it's hard to top some of his other films.... although is it all about the length?

10-4 on Greengrass and the stars of Casino Royale. Why more people don't own THE DREAMERS is beyond me.

I think BROKEBACK lost because it really wasn't that good. CRASH won because of a butterfly ballot.

After making it clear I didn't like SUNSHINE, I still got it for Hannukah from three different people.

I like Phil Collins, bitch.

ANTIONETTE and FOUNTAIN were the best films from both directors.

Despite Jack Nicholson, the cocaine opera sequence, and the ending to THE DEPARTED, it's still better than the original.

Filmspotting made the best comment about SUPERMAN RETURNS: "It's amazing that Brett Ratner managed to direct both X-MEN 3 and SUPERMAN RETURNS in the same year."

Happy New Year.

Patrick said...

I'm prety much in agreement. Though, I think the fact that people are voting for Miami Vice as worst film of the year may be the best testament to its quality one could find. A truly great film is always going to divide people.

And, while The Fountain and Marie Antoinette are each their directors' weakest films yet, I think they're also large steps forward, it's just a matter of channeling that ambition into something more emotionally managable.

J said...

Truly great films always divide audiences, yes, but I don't think this is the case for Miami Vice. I just cannot fathom how Michael Mann is currently sitting in the number 2 spot for worst director in that IMDb poll. I don't think MV is a masterpiece, but I stand firm in thinking that people who hate it are fucking morons. Likely they're fans of the now-campy television series or of Jamie Foxx's usual crap... or of shitty action films period.

I have seen neither Antoinette or The Fountain, those are simply outside perspectives.

I don't argue with people that like Tyler Perry.

I also don't know what a butterfly ballot is.

Neither Phil Collins nor The Dreamers are good, Eric.

J said...

Oh, and... that comment about Ratner/Singer is amazing.

filmbo said...

Su-Su-Sussudio! Yes, DREAMERS isn't bad, but all those amazing Eva Green nude scenes for only 5 bucks.... I mean, come on.

As for MV, I enjoy Mann similar to how I enjoy Melville, but there's that point in Mann's films where I no longer care about the characters. In MV it was just after the trailer exploded.... COLLATE it was just after the night club. I still enjoy him nonetheless.

And if we're talking about truly great films dividing audiences, I guess you all owe me an apology for THE BLACK DAHLIA.

Hetero-Erotica said...

Crash made Chicago look worthy! We all know there was nothing on that best picture list last year that actually deserved it. I too have no idea what a butterfly ballet is. I'm more firm in the belief that Nicholson was wasted and said whatever he wanted to.

Phil Collins is more of a god than you or I will ever be.

Eva Green naked made the Dreamers worth watching once. Casino Royale showcased her much better though. Figure that one out.

Tyler Perry is more of a god than you or I or Phil Collins will ever be.

As for another black auteur appearing, don't count out Tim Story of "Barbershop," "Taxi" and "Fantastic Four 1&2" fame. Black people KNOW good film, Joe.

"Y'all got that Wicker Man? It scury?"

Also, you did catch a Brick, right? It was a pretty good debut feature.

And fuck The Black Dahlia, Eric. DePalma owes me a blowjob or an Untouchables prequel for that one.
-M

Hetero-Erotica said...

Oh, and there's no fucking fathomable way that the ending of The Departed trumped the heartbreaking and hauting ending of Infernal Affairs.