What do a scary kid, a lesbian track star, pot brownies, old people making porn, Lars von Trier and Heather Graham have in common?

A couple of the more savvy studios have already announced a handful of titles for the early-2008 DVD schedule. I always wonder why the beginning of the year isn’t a bigger landing ground for interesting DVD releases, as the studios “drop the kids off at the pool” with their theatrical releases around this point. Granted, there’s always those “we opened in NY and LA for one day for Oscar consideration” films that trickle down during these months, but theatre-going in January blows.

Here’s a few of the announced DVDs for January and February of 2008:

Adrift in Manhattan - Available in an “unrated” edition, the film follows a couple of Yanks as they go about their daily subway transit in the Big Apple. Stars William Baldwin and Heather Graham.
Affair to Remember, An - 50th Anniversary Edition
Amateurs, The [aka The Moguls] - A film about a bunch of old farts that decide to make a porn flick with a huge (and weird) cast that includes Jeff Bridges, Tim Blake Nelson, Joe Pantoliano (or Joey Pants, as we like to call him), Ted Danson, Lauren Graham, that beast Jeanne Tripplehorn (I hope she is the lead actress in the porn), Judy Greer, Steven Weber, and that stupid, deep-voiced guy who played Ray Romano’s older brother on that stupid TV show.
Big Bang Love: Juvenile A - Apparently, this is Takashi Miike’s personal favorite of all of his films, even better than it’s a boys-in-love-in-prison film. For Miike to say this is his favorite is a bold statement as I think he releases at least five films a year.
Breaker Morant

Death Sentence - I like Kevin Bacon. I’ll see it. It’s bound to be better than The Brave One.
Eagle vs. Shark
Eugénie de Sade - Jess Franco’s erotic adaptation of the Marquis de Sade, starring the luscious Soledad Miranda.
Golden Door - Seriously, this film is really good; rent it when it comes out. The combination of Agnès Godard’s cinematography and Charlotte Gainsbourg’s presence should be reason alone.
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner - 40th Anniversary Edition - Not me.

Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, The - Alan Arkin is a deaf-mute, sentimentality follows.
In the Shadow of the Moon
Joshua - 20th Century Fox buried this film deep, canceling numerous of its releases, all for no good reason, it’s excellent.
King of California - Why do I have to see Evan Rachel Wood in every other film out these days?
Kingdom, The - Series 2

Klimt - I won’t see this… John Malkovich is in it.
Lake Placid 2 - The SciFi channel makes a lot of shit, but here’s hoping that Cloris Leachman belts out the lines like Betty White did in the original: “If I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it.”
Not for or Against [Ni pour, ni contre] - From the director of that horrid L’Auberge espagnol, with Diane Kruger, Vincent Elbaz.
Personal Best - First time on DVD, see Mariel Hemingway lez it out while running track.
Ritz, The - Terrence McNally’s play is supposed to be much better than this film adaptation, but I love the fact that the main character mistakes Rita Moreno for a drag queen. Also starring Jerry Stiller, F. Murray Abraham, and Treat Williams.

Scenes of a Sexual Nature - A British sex comedy with Hugh Bonneville, Adrian Lester, Ewan McGregor, Tom Hardy, Eileen Atkins, Sophie Okonedo, and Polly Walker.
See How They Fall [Regarde les hommes tomber] - From the director of The Beat That My Heart Skipped and Read My Lips, with Jean-Louis Trintignant, Jean Yanne, Bulle Ogier, Mathieu Kassovitz.
Sex & Breakfast - Ew, an American sex comedy with Macaulay Culkin, Eliza Dushku, Kuno Becker, Tracie Thoms.
Smiley Face - Gregg Araki’s stoner comedy (yeah, I know) with Anna Faris, Jane Lynch, Adam Brody, John Krasinski, John Cho, Marion Ross, Danny Trejo. The cast is appealing, but I guess Araki didn’t know how to follow up Mysterious Skin.
Sunshine - Danny Boyle’s ode to the beauty of sun and Cillian Murphy.

Tell Me a Riddle - Oscar-winning actress Lee Grant (Shampoo, Valley of the Dolls) directs this road film about old people and death.
Twister - Special Edition - Could you really pair anyone worse than Bill Paxton (I actually typed Bill Pullman, because I really don’t know the difference) and Helen Hunt as a lame couple chasing tornados? Oh, and if you want to barf, check this link to see what Helen Hunt was wearing at the premiere. [I couldn't resist posting the photo above that I found in my google image search for Twister; it's better than the movie]
Yes, but… [Oui, mais…] - French girl comes of age. Count me in.
Zodiac - Director’s Cut - If you haven’t read, it’s only five or so minutes longer. Here’s hoping that certain shit was cut or reedited, because I already sold away my theatrical version DVD.