Millennium Mambo, Part 2-ish

Two more big lists have been published asserting the finest films of the decade. The haughtier of the two came from The Toronto International Film Festival Cinematheque, which surveyed a group of "film curators, historians, and festival programmers" and named, in a surprise move, Apichatpong Weerasethakul's Syndromes and a Century the best film of the 2000s. I'm in agreement with almost their entire list, aside from Claire Denis' Beau travail (not because I don't absolutely adore the film, but because by my own regulations, it counts as a 1999 film) [Abbas Kiarostami's The Wind Will Carry Us falls into the same place for me], Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth (which is fine, but doesn't need to be that high) and Elephant, which should not be listed above Gerry (or Paranoid Park, which isn't on the list). I also don't have much affinity for I Don't Want to Sleep Alone, I'm Not There., Alexandra or Saraband (from what I remember of it), but that's part of the joy in lists like these, no? The list is as follows, with plenty of ties, the US distributor if applicable is listed after the title for assistance:

01. Syndromes and a Century, 2006, d. Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Thailand/France/Austria, Strand Releasing

02. Platform, 2000, d. Jia Zhang-ke, China/Hong Kong/Japan/France, New Yorker Films

03. Still Life, 2006, d. Jia Zhang-ke, China/Hong Kong, New Yorker Films

04. Beau travail, 1999/2000, d. Claire Denis, France, New Yorker Films

05. In the Mood for Love, 2000, d. Wong Kar-wai, Hong Kong/China/France, USA Films/Criterion

06. Tropical Malady, 2004, d. Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Thailand/France/Germany/Italy, Strand Releasing

07. (tie) The Death of Mr. Lăzărescu [Moartea domnului Lăzărescu], 2005, d. Cristi Puiu, Romania, Tartan Films
07. (tie) Werckmeister Harmonies [Werckmeister harmóniák], 2000, d. Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, Hungary/Italy/Germany/France, Facets

08. Éloge de l'amour [In Praise of Love], 2001, d. Jean-Luc Godard, France/Switzerland, New Yorker Films

09. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days [4 luni, 3 săptămâni şi 2 zile], 2007, d. Cristian Mungiu, Romania, IFC Films

10. Silent Light [Stellet licht], 2007, d. Carlos Reygadas, Mexico/France/Netherlands/Germany, Palisades Tartan

11. Russian Ark, 2002, d. Aleksandr Sokurov, Russia/Germany, Wellspring

12. The New World, 2005, d. Terrence Malick, USA/UK, New Line

13. Blissfully Yours, 2002, d. Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Thailand/France, Strand Releasing

14. Le fils [The Son], 2002, d. Jean-Pierre Dardenne, Luc Dardenne, Belgium/France, New Yorker Films

15. Colossal Youth [Juventude Em Marcha], 2006, d. Pedro Costa, Portugal/France/Switzerland, Criterion (unreleased as of yet)

16. (tie) Les glaneurs et la glaneuse [The Gleaners & I], 2000, d. Agnès Varda, France, Zeitgeist
16. (tie) In Vanda's Room [No Quarto da Vanda], 2000, d. Pedro Costa, Portugal/Germany/Switzerland/Italy, Criterion (unreleased as of yet)
16. (tie) Songs from the Second Floor [Sånger från andra våningen], 2000, d. Roy Andersson, Sweden/Norway/Denmark, New Yorker Films

17. (tie) Caché, 2005, d. Michael Haneke, France/Austria/Germany/Italy, Sony Pictures Classics
17. (tie) A History of Violence, 2005, d. David Cronenberg, USA/Germany, New Line
17. (tie) Mulholland Drive, 2001, d. David Lynch, France/USA, Universal Studios
17. (tie) Three Times, 2005, d. Hou Hsiao-hsien, Taiwan/France, IFC Films

18. Rois et reine [Kings and Queen], 2004, d. Arnaud Desplechin, France, Wellspring

19. Elephant, 2003, d. Gus Van Sant, USA, HBO Films

20. Talk to Her [Hable con ella], 2002, d. Pedro Almodóvar, Spain, Sony Pictures Classics

21. (tie) The Wind Will Carry Us, 1999/2000, d. Abbas Kiarostami, Iran/France, New Yorker Films
21. (tie) Yi yi: A One and Two, 2000, d. Edward Yang, Taiwan/Japan, Fox Lorber/Criterion

22. Pan's Labyrinth [El laberinto del Fauno], 2006, d. Guillermo del Toro, Mexico/Spain/USA, Picturehouse/New Line

23. (tie) L'enfant, 2005, d. Jean-Pierre Dardenne, Luc Dardenne, Belgium/France, Sony Pictures Classics
23. (tie) The Heart of the World, 2000, d. Guy Maddin, Canada, Zeitgeist
23. (tie) I Don't Want to Sleep Alone, 2006, d. Tsai Ming-liang, Taiwan/Malaysia/China/France/Austria, Strand Releasing
23. (tie) Star Spangled to Death, 2004, d. Ken Jacobs, USA, Big Commotion Pictures

24. The World, 2004, d. Jia Zhang-ke, China/Japan/France, Zeitgeist

25. (tie) Café Lumière, 2003, d. Hou Hsiao-hsien, Japan/Taiwan, Wellspring
25. (tie) The Headless Woman [La mujer sin cabeza], 2008, d. Lucrecia Martel, Argentina/France/Italy/Spain, Strand Releasing
25. (tie) L'intrus [The Intruder], 2004, d. Claire Denis, France, Wellspring
25. (tie) Millennium Mambo, 2001, d. Hou Hsiao-hsien, Taiwan/France, Palm Pictures
25. (tie) My Winnipeg, 2007, d. Guy Maddin, Canada, IFC Films
25. (tie) Saraband, 2003, d. Ingmar Bergman, Sweden/Italy/Germany/Finland/Denmark/Austria, Sony Pictures Classics
25. (tie) Spirited Away, 2001, d. Hayao Miyazaki, Japan, Studio Ghibli/Disney
25. (tie) I'm Not There., 2007, d. Todd Haynes, USA/Germany, The Weinstein Company

26. Gerry, 2002, d. Gus Van Sant, USA, Miramax

27. (tie) Distant [Uzak], 2002, d. Nuri Bilge Ceylan, Turkey, New Yorker Films
27. (tie) Dogville, 2003, d. Lars von Trier, Denmark/Sweden/UK/France/Germany/Norway/Finland/Netherlands, Lionsgate
27. (tie) The Royal Tenenbaums, 2001, d. Wes Anderson, USA, Touchstone/Criterion

28. (tie) Alexandra, 2007, d. Aleksandr Sokurov, Russia/France, Cinema Guild
28. (tie) demonlover, 2002, d. Olivier Assayas, France, Palm Pictures

29. (tie) Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner, 2001, d. Zacharias Kunuk, Canada, Lot 47 Films
29. (tie) Goodbye, Dragon Inn, 2003, d. Tsai Ming-liang, Taiwan, Wellspring

30. (tie) Longing [Sehnsucht], 2006, d. Valeska Grisebach, Germany, N/A
30. (tie) Secret Sunshine, 2007, d. Lee Chang-dong, South Korea, N/A
30. (tie) Vai e Vem [Come and Go], 2003, d. João César Monteiro, Portugal/France, N/A
30. (tie) Far from Heaven, 2002, d. Todd Haynes, USA/France, Focus Features

So to tally... directors with more than one showing: Apichatpong Weerasethakul (3), Hou Hsiao-hsien (3), Jia Zhang-ke (3), Gus Van Sant (2), Todd Haynes (2), Tsai Ming-liang (2), Aleksandr Sokurov (2), Claire Denis (2), Guy Maddin (2), the Dardenne brothers (2), Pedro Costa (2). Only 5 of the 54 are unavailable on DVD in the US, though both Pedro Costa films are planned (or at least strongly rumored) to be coming from Criterion. However, in looking at the list, there is a wave of sadness, seeing studios that are no more like New Yorker Films, Wellspring/Fox Lorber, USA Films, Lot 47 Films and Picturehouse, as well as ones that have fallen from grace but still existing in a smaller form like Palm Pictures and (meh) Miramax and New Line. Of course, a number of fabulous distribution studios have opened throughout the past ten years, from Cinema Guild, IFC Films, Benten Films and Oscilloscope as well as Palisades Tartan's restarting of the Tartan library, which brought Silent Light to screens this year. The biggest showing though for the studios still thriving would have to be Strand Releasing, who released 5 of the films above, including the "newest" of the lot, Lucrecia Martel's brilliant The Headless Woman [La mujer sin cabeza]. I wonder if it's an oversight that no 2009 film made the list or if the TIFF crowd was being overzealous with getting that list out. Also, notice only 2 documentaries and 1 short made the list, something I'm sure a handful of other lists will make up for.

Anyway, onto List #2 for Time Out New York, which polled a number of Big Apple-ish film critics, including Andrew Grant, Karina Longworth, Aaron Hillis and Kevin B. Lee (their individual top 10s can be found via this link). The list rounded to 50, but I'll only post the top 30 here, so you can check out the write-ups and #31-50 on their site.

01. Mulholland Drive, 2001, d. David Lynch, USA/France, Universal Studios
02. There Will Be Blood, 2007, d. Paul Thomas Anderson, USA, Paramount Vantage/Miramax
03. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 2004, d. Michel Gondry, USA, Focus Features
04. The New World, 2005, d. Terrence Malick, USA/UK, New Line
05. In the Mood for Love, 2000, d. Wong Kar-wai, Hong Kong/China/France, USA Films/Criterion
06. Yi yi: A One and Two, 2000, d. Edward Yang, Taiwan/Japan, Fox Lorber/Criterion
07. Dogville, 2003, d. Lars von Trier, Denmark/Sweden/UK/France/Germany/Norway/Finland/Netherlands, Lionsgate
08. Zodiac, 2007, d. David Fincher, USA, Paramount
09. A Christmas Tale [Un conte de Noël], 2008, d. Arnaud Desplechin, France, IFC Films/Criterion
10. Friday Night [Vendredi soir], 2002, d. Claire Denis, France, Wellspring
11. Spirited Away, 2001, d. Hayao Miyazaki, Japan, Studio Ghibli/Disney
12. American Psycho, 2000, d. Mary Harron, USA/Canada, Lionsgate
13. Inland Empire, 2006, d. David Lynch, USA/Poland/France, Absurda
14. Trouble Every Day, 2002, d. Claire Denis, France/Germany/Japan, Lot 47 Films
15. Domestic Violence, 2001, d. Frederick Wiseman, USA, Zippora Films
16. Punch-Drunk Love, 2002, d. Paul Thomas Anderson, USA, Columbia Pictures
17. Gosford Park, 2001, d. Robert Altman, UK/USA/Italy, Universal Studios
18. Femme Fatale, 2002, d. Brian De Palma, France/USA, Warner Bros.
19. I'm Not There., 2007, d. Todd Haynes, USA/Germany, The Weinstein Company
20. The Mad Songs of Fernanda Hussein, 2001, d. John Gianvito, USA, Extreme Low Frequency Productions
21. Brokeback Mountain, 2005, d. Ang Lee, USA/Canada, Focus Features
22. Synecdoche, New York, 2008, d. Charlie Kaufman, USA, Sony Pictures Classics
23. The Death of Mr. Lăzărescu [Moartea domnului Lăzărescu], 2005, d. Cristi Puiu, Romania, Tartan Films
24. I Heart Huckabees, 2004, d. David O. Russell, USA/Germany, Fox Searchlight
25. Inglourious Basterds, 2009, d. Quentin Tarantino, USA/Germany, The Weinstein Company/Universal Studios
26. Kings and Queen [Rois et reine], 2004, d. Arnaud Desplechin, France, Wellspring
27. Oldboy, 2003, d. Park Chan-wook, South Korea, Tartan Films
28. Before Sunset, 2004, d. Richard Linklater, USA, Warner Independent
29. Songs from the Second Floor [Sånger från andra våningen], 2000, d. Roy Andersson, Sweden/Norway/Denmark, New Yorker Films
30. Children of Men, 2006, d. Alfonso Cuarón, UK/USA/Japan, Universal Studios

While Time Out's list is certainly more US-centric than TIFF's, I can't find much bad to say about a list that includes Brian De Palma's Femme Fatale in the top 20 (and even included one film I'd never heard of: The Mad Songs of Fernanda Hussein... another highlight of checking out lists as these, if only that particular DVD wasn't already out-of-print). I don't know how I feel about Inglourious Basterds as the highest ranked 2009 film (and, in fact, the only one). The remainder of the list contains some real surprising and/or underrated treasures like Ramin Bahrani's Man Push Cart, Michael Mann's Miami Vice and Lukas Moodysson's Lilya 4-ever [Lilja 4-ever], as well as some contemptible ones like The 40-Year-Old Virgin (and, yeah, Donnie Darko). The only film that absolutely does not belong on the big 30 is I Heart Huckabees, while a few dangle on that line (American Psycho, Brokeback Mountain), keeping my personal preference against a couple out of the mix. So here's to the close of the '00s! More list, I'm sure, are on hitting the "printer" right now. I can't wait to hear what Cahiers du cinéma rounds up.

The Decade List: (Some of) The Worst Films (2006)

I've been using the IMDb as a reference for film years when compiling films for the Decade List, and while I realize the site isn't always correct, it's a lot easier than looking elsewhere to find the first official screening of Phat Girlz. However, I've run into my first altercation when using the IMDb for 2006. By their records, 300, easily one of the worst films I've ever seen, is a 2006 movie because it played at something called the Austin Butt-Numb-a-Thon in December of that year. I don't know anything about this "fest," but I'm going to go ahead and disqualify that as a legitimate "film premiere." Black Snake Moan falls under the same category.

Anyway, I have little to say about the films below, but I've included links to shit I've written on them in the past. I've placed an asterisk next to the films that have a special sort of "awful" appeal, failures of a certain charm. I haven't given all of those titles a second look to gauge their level of camp appeal, but I can assure you both Snow Cake and Notes on a Scandal rise to the occasion. Cate Blanchett asking Judi Dench, "You wanna fuck me, Barbara?" and Sigourney Weaver's hilarious performance as a woman with autism in Snow Cake (not to mention how many bad-ass points Alan Rickman lost with his schoolgirl fussiness after confronting the man who killed Sigourney's daughter) are absolutely worth wasting your time over.

- Alpha Dog - d. Nick Cassavetes - USA
- Another Gay Movie - d. Todd Phillips - USA
- Art School Confidential - d. Terry Zwigoff - USA [also here]
- Basic Instinct 2 - d. Michael Caton-Jones - USA/Germany/UK/Spain [also here]
- The Black Dahlia - d. Brian De Palma - USA/Germany [also an appendix; and here]
- Boy Culture - d. Q. Allan Brocka - USA
- Broken Sky [El cielo dividido] - d. Julián Hernández - Mexico
- The Bubble - d. Eytan Fox - Israel [Winner of the "Best Way to Revive Your Otherwise Awful Film" Award at my first, and only, Fin de cinéma awards]
- Cars - d. John Lasseter, Joe Ranft - USA
- Confetti - d. Debbie Isitt - UK
- Cowboy Junction - d. Gregory Christian - USA
- Dans Paris - d. Christophe Honoré - France/Portugal
- Dirty Sanchez: The Movie - d. Jim Hickey - UK
- Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds - d. Phillip J. Bartell - USA
- Eternal Summer - d. Leste Chen - Taiwan
- Factory Girl - d. George Hickenlooper - USA
- For Your Consideration - d. Christopher Guest - USA [also here]
- The Fountain - d. Darren Aronofsky - USA*
- Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus - d. Steven Shainberg - USA
- Grimm Love [Rohtenburg] - d. Martin Weisz - Germany
- The Hills Have Eyes - d. Alexandre Aja - USA
- Idlewild - d. Bryan Barber - USA
- Marie Antoinette - d. Sofia Coppola - USA/France/Japan
- Murderous Intent [Like Minds] - d. Gregory J. Read - Australia/UK
- The Namesake - d. Mira Nair - India/USA
- Notes on a Scandal - d. Richard Eyre - UK*
- O Jerusalem - d. Elie Chouraqui - France/UK/Italy/Greece/Israel/USA [also here]
- Off the Black - d. James Ponsoldt - USA
- The OH in Ohio - d. Billy Kent - USA [also here]
- On ne devrait pas exister [We Should Not Exist] - d. Hervé P. Gustave - France
- One Third - d. Kim Yong-man - USA
- The Page Turner [La tourneuse de pages] - d. Denis Dercourt - France
- Phat Girlz - d. Nnegest Likké - USA
- Psychopathia Sexualis - d. Bret Wood - USA
- The Pursuit of Happyness - d. Gabriele Muccino - USA
- Snow Cake - d. Marc Evans - Canada/UK* [more on Sigourney]
- Southland Tales - d. Richard Kelly - USA/Germany/France*
- Tan Lines - d. Ed Aldridge - Australia
- Things to Do - d. Ted Bezaire - Canada
- The Tripper - d. David Arquette - USA
- The Unknown Woman [La sconosciuta] - d. Giuseppe Tornatore - Italy/France*
- Vacationland - d. Todd Verow - USA
- The West Wittering Affair - d. David Scheinmann - UK
- The Wicker Man - d. Neil LaBute - USA/Germany/Canada*
- The Wild - d. Steve 'Spaz' Williams - USA
- The Young, the Gay and the Restless - d. Joe Castro - USA
- Yours Emotionally! - d. Sridhar Rangayan - India/UK

Walerian Borowczyk, Laura Gemser, Jude Law in drag, punk rock in concert, Orson Welles, Ally McBeal and a lotta Ida Lupino! (Not all together, sadly)

I should point out a few things about the releases below. Firstly, IFC announced another few titles for DVD release, all of them genre flicks (of what quality, I'm not sure, as I haven't seen any of them), and I wonder when they're going to get around to their theatrical releases, instead of their VOD titles. Secondly, I've only mentioned Anchor Bay's re-release of the film Where the Day Takes You because it gives me the opportunity to mention that it's easily one of the worst films I've ever seen. It's this dishonest, cheeseball Gen-X exposé of street kids in Los Angeles with a silly cast of once-famous-but-still-recognizable actors. Laughable doesn't begin to describe Hollywood's fallible attempt here, but my friend Chris and I wanted to program a So-Bad-They're-Still-Not-Good film festival and make a double-feature of Where the Day Takes You and John Singleton's dreadful Higher Learning. It would be one miserable night!

Also, Liberation Entertainment announced November release dates for Sally Potter's Rage, which got scathing reviews at Berlin in February, and Caroline Bottaro's Queen to Play [Joyeuse] with Sandrine Bonnaire and Kevin Kline. I don't recall either film receiving a theatrical run. So if seeing Jude Law in drag suits your fancy... And finally, you can put down your pencil from all the letter-writing you've been doing to try to get Fox to finally release the complete Ally McBeal series onto DVD, 'cos your wishes have been granted; on the 6th of October, you can relive all the zaniness, all the dancing babies, all the unisex bathroom interactions and all the Vonda Shepard you want! I heard there were a lot of music rights issues which held up the US release; just please tell me it wasn't Vonda's fault. The DVDs are in descending order of release.

- Objectified, 2009, d. Gary Hustwit, Plexifilm, 29 September
- Ally McBeal, The Complete Series, 1997-2002, 20th Century Fox, 6 October, w. Calista Flockhart, Jane Krakowski, Peter MacNicol, Portia de Rossi, Lucy Liu, Courtney Thorne-Smith, Gil Bellows, Robert Downey Jr., Regina Hall, Dyan Cannon
- Drag Me to Hell, 2009, d. Sam Raimi, Universal, 6 October
- Fighter, 2007, d. Natasha Arthy, IFC Films, 13 October
- Left Bank [Linkeroever], 2008, d. Pieter Van Hees, IFC Films, 13 October
- The Objective, 2008, d. Daniel Myrick, IFC Films, 13 October
- Where the Day Takes You, 1992, d. Marc Rocco, Anchor Bay, 13 October, w. Dermot Mulroney, Lara Flynn Boyle, Balthazar Getty, Sean Astin, Will Smith, Rikki Lake, James LeGros, Kyle MacLachlan, Alyssa Milano, Rachel Ticotin, David Arquette, Laura San Giacomo
- Pageant, 2008, d. Ron Davis, Stewart Halpern-Fingerhut, Wolfe Releasing, 20 October
- God's Left Hand, Devil's Right Hand, 2006, d. Shusuke Kaneko, Tokyo Shock, 27 October
- The Art of Love [Ars armandi], 1983, d. Walerian Borowczyk, Severin, 24 November, w. Laura Betti
- The Cricket [La cicala], 1980, d. Alberto Lattuada, MYA Communication, 24 November, w. Virna Lisi
- The House on Sorority Row, 1983, d. Mark Rosman, Liberation Entertainment, 24 November
- Hunchback of the Morgue [El jorobado de la Morgue], 1973, d. Javier Aguirre, MYA Communication, 24 November
- The Lady Medic [La dottoressa del distretto militare], 1976, d. Nando Cicero, MYA Communication, 24 November, w. Edwige Fenech
- The Last Decameron [Sollazzevoli storie di mogli gaudenti e mariti penitenti - Decameron nº 69], 1972, d. Joe D'Amato, MYA Communication, 24 November
- Mad Dog Morgan, 1976, d. Philippe Mora, Troma, 2-Disc Limited Edition, 24 November, w. Dennis Hopper, Jack Thompson
- Queen to Play [Joueuse], 2009, d. Caroline Bottaro, Liberation Entertainment, 24 November, w. Sandrine Bonnaire, Kevin Kline, Jennifer Beals
- Rage, 2009, d. Sally Potter, Liberation Entertainment, 24 November, w. Judi Dench, Jude Law, Eddie Izzard, John Leguizamo, Dianne Wiest, Steve Buscemi, Adriana Barraza, Bob Balaban, Simon Abkarian
- The Real Emanuelle [Amore libero - Free Love], 1974, d. Pier Ludovico Pavoni, MYA Communication, 24 November, w. Laura Gemser
- Schoolgirl Hitchhikers [Jeunes filles impudiques], 1973, d. Jean Rollin, Redemption, 24 November


Below is a list of some of the titles Warner has made newly available since June as part of their Warner Archive collection. You'll find a lot of recurring stars (Elizabeth Taylor, Gary Cooper, Ida Lupino, John Barrymore, Al Jolson), as well as Brian De Palma's Get to Know Your Rabbit with Orson Welles; Jodie Foster in Carny; the cult concert film Urgh! A Music War; Otto Preminger's The Moon Is Blue; and Mel Ferrer's adaptation of Green Mansions with Audrey Hepburn and Anthony Perkins.

- ...All the Marbles, 1981, d. Robert Aldrich, w. Peter Falk
- Beau Brummel, 1924, d. Harry Beaymont, w. John Barrymore
- The Better 'Ole, 1926, d. Charles Reisner
- Big Boy, 1930, d. Alan Crosland, w. Al Jolson
- Boulevard Nights, 1979, d. Michael Pressman
- Bright Leaf, 1950, d. Michael Curtiz, w. Gary Cooper, Lauren Bacall, Patricia Neal
- Carny, 1980, d. Robert Kaylor, w. Gary Busey, Jodie Foster
- Colleen, 1936, d. Alfred E. Green
- Conspirator, 1949, d. Victor Saville, w. Elizabeth Taylor, Robert Taylor
- Cynthia, 1947, d. Robert Z. Leonard, w. Elizabeth Taylor, Mary Astor
- Dealing: Or the Berkeley-to-Boston Forty-Brick Lost-Bag Blues, 1972, d. Paul Williams, w. John Lithgow, Barbara Hershey

- Deep Valley, 1947, d. Jean Negulesco, w. Ida Lupino
- The Divine Lady, 1929, d. Frank Lloyd
- Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, 1973, d. John Newland
- The First Auto, 1927, d. Roy Del Ruth
- Fliration Walk, 1934, d. Frank Borzage
- Get to Know Your Rabbit, 1972, d. Brian De Palma, w. Orson Welles, Katharine Ross
- The Girl Who Had Everything, 1953, d. Richard Thorpe, w. Elizabeth Taylor
- Go Into Your Dance, 1935, d. Archie Mayo, Michael Curtiz, Robert Florey, w. Al Jolson
- Green Mansions, 1959, d. Mel Ferrer, w. Anthony Perkins, Audrey Hepburn
- Happiness Ahead, 1934, d. Mervyn LeRoy
- The Hard Way, 1943, d. Vincent Sherman, w. Ida Lupino

- It's a Big Country, 1951, d. Clarence Brown, Don Hartman, John Sturges, Richard Thorpe, Charles Vidor, Don Weis, William A. Wellman, w. Gary Cooper, Janet Leigh, Gene Kelly, Ethel Barrymore
- Juke Girl, 1942, d. Curtis Bernhardt, w. Ronald fucking Reagan
- Let Us Be Gay, 1930, d. Robert Z. Leonard
- Love Is Better Than Ever, 1952, d. Stanley Donen, w. Elizabeth Taylor
- The Man I Love, 1947, d. Raoul Walsh, w. Ida Lupino
- Mike's Murder, 1984, d. James Bridges, w. Debra Winger
- Min and Bill, 1930, d. George W. Hill
- The Moon Is Blue, 1953, d. Otto Preminger, w. William Holden
- Nora Prentiss, 1947, d. Vincent Sherman
- Old San Francisco, 1927, d. Alan Crosland
- One Sunday Afternoon, 1933, d. Stephen Roberts, w. Gary Cooper, Fay Wray

- Operator 13, 1934, d. Richard Boleslawski, w. Gary Cooper, Marion Davies
- Politics, 1931, d. Charles Reisner
- Ready, Willing and Able, 1937, d. Ray Enright
- Reducing, 1931, d. Charles Reisner
- Rhapsody, 1954, d. Charles Vidor, w. Elizabeth Taylor
- Saratoga Trunk, 1945, d. Sam Wood, w. Gary Cooper, Ingrid Bergman
- Say It with Songs, 1929, d. Lloyd Bacon, w. Al Jolson
- The Sea Hawk, 1924, d. Frank Lloyd
- Shipmates Forever, 1935, d. Frank Borzage
- The Singing Fool, 1928, d. Lloyd Bacon, w. Al Jolson
- The Singing Kid, 1936, d. William Keighley, w. Al Jolson

- The Story of Mankind, 1957, d. Irwin Allen, w. The Marx Brothers, Hedy Lamarr, Agnes Moorehead, Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Cesar Romero, John Carradine, Dennis Hopper
- The Story of Three Loves, 1953, d. Vincente Minnelli, Gottfried Reinhardt, w. Kirk Douglas, Leslie Caron, Ethel Barrymore, James Mason, Agnes Moorehead, Zsa Zsa Gabor
- Task Force, 1949, d. Delmer Daves, w. Gary Cooper
- The Terminal Man, 1974, d. Mike Hodges, w. George Segal
- Today We Live, 1933, d. Howard Hawks, Richard Rosson, w. Joan Crawford, Gary Cooper
- The Unfaithful, 1947, d. Vincent Sherman
- Urgh! A Music War, 1981, d. Derek Burbidge, w. The Police, Toyah Willcox, Wall of Voodoo, Oingo Boingo, Echo & the Bunnymen, XTC, Jools Holland, Klaus Nomi, The Go-Go's, Dead Kennedys, Gary Numan, Joan Jett, Magazine, The Cramps, Devo, Gang of Four, X, UB40
- Week-End at the Waldorf, 1945, d. Robert Z. Leonard, w. Ginger Rogers, Lana Turner
- When a Man Loves, 1927, d. Alan Crosland, w. John Barrymore
- Who Is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe?, 1978, d. Ted Kotcheff, w. George Segal, Jacqueline Bisset, Jean-Pierre Cassel
- Wonder Bar, 1934, d. Lloyd Bacon, w. Al Jolson, Dolores del Rio

The Decade List: Femme Fatale (2002)

Femme Fatale - dir. Brian De Palma

Losing faith in a director you once held so dear is a difficult enterprise. Woody Allen sure has taken us through plenty of ups and downs in the past fifteen years. Even Wim Wenders' biggest fans have found little to like in the director's post-Wings of Desire narratives. And I don't even recognize Dario Argento or George A. Romero any more. So when a director like De Palma makes a film like Femme Fatale, the bias sets in, and while certainly less than the films that made you fall in love with him in the first place, it takes you back to the good ol' days. Femme Fatale is not a good film, but more than the offensively misfired The Black Dahlia, Snake Eyes and Mission to Mars, it's a pleasant reminder of what kind of a filmmaker De Palma once was.

With signature bravado, Femme Fatale opens at the Cannes Film Festival where a jewel heist is underway. Thankfully, since it's De Palma, the heist isn't without its share of naked women and lesbian bathroom hook-ups. Elite con artist Laure (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) takes off with the loot and changes her identity in order to hide from her former partners she double-crossed. It doesn't really matter what happens in Femme Fatale, but how it happens. It's loaded with your typical De Palma/Hitchcock allusions, so many I lost count. And it's awfully sleazy.

Donning an occasional French accent that's more effective than any of the various ones Angelina Jolie has delivered, Romijn-Stamos is game for De Palma's lurid erotica. Very few actresses have given themselves so fully to a director for such low pursuits, and bless her heart for doing so. Whether tossing clothes, performing lap dances, feeling up busty women or getting raped on pool tables, Romijn-Stamos is thoroughly unself-conscious, which elevates De Palma's technically skilled, perfumed trash to a level of guilt-free dissoluteness. I probably won't ever rank Femme Fatale alongside Carrie, Body Double, Blow Out or The Untouchables, but it's the closest thing to a "return to form" that we'll hope to see from him.

With: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Antonio Banderas, Peter Coyote, Eriq Ebouaney, Edouard Montoute, Rie Rasmussen, Thierry Frémont, Régis Wargnier, Sandrine Bonnaire, Eva Darlan, Jean-Marie Frin
Screenplay: Brian De Palma
Cinematography: Thierry Arbogast
Music: Ryuichi Sakamoto
Country of Origin: France
US Distributor: Warner Bros.

Premiere: 30 April 2002 (France)
US Premiere: 4 November 2002

The Decade List: (Some of) The Worst Films (2000)

Though I don't wish to devote time writing about the following films, I have made a shortlist of some of the significantly awful films from 2000 that I had the displeasure of seeing:

- Baise-moi - dir. Virginie Despentes, Coralie Trinh Thi - France
- Battle Royale - dir. Kinji Fukasaku - Japan
- Battlefield Earth - dir. Roger Christian - USA
- Big Momma's House - dir. Raja Gosnell - USA
- Boys and Girls - dir. Robert Iscove - USA
- The Crow: Salvation - dir. Bharat Nalluri - USA/Germany
- Dr. T & the Women - dir. Robert Altman - USA/Germany
- Groove - dir. Greg Harrison - USA
- Hollow Man - dir. Paul Verhoeven - USA/Germany
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas - dir. Ron Howard - USA/Germany
- The Iron Ladies - dir. Youngyooth Thongkonthun - Thailand
- Km. 0 - dir. Yolanda García Serrano, Juan Luis Iborra - Spain
- Malèna - dir. Giuseppe Tornatore - Italy/USA
- Mission: Impossible 2 - dir. John Woo - USA/Germany
- Mission to Mars - dir. Brian De Palma - USA
- Pay It Forward - dir. Mimi Leder - USA
- The Smokers - dir. Kat Slater - USA
- Stardom - dir. Denys Arcand - Canada/France
- Vulgar - dir. Bryan Johnson - USA

Dareaoke Update

So, as one may have expected, the Daraoke experiment isn't working out quite as planned. Really, it might have just been that Tekkonkinkreet (I'm not even bothering to check to see if I spelled that correctly) turned me off the idea of watching bad movies for fun. Or maybe it's just that the following weeks' picks (Samurai Reincarnation and Walking Tall: The Final Chapter) just didn't sound the least bit fun in the first place. Now, if I had been recommended She-Devil with Meryl Streep and Roseanne, you know I would have watched that shit in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, shitty crime films, shitty samurai films (unless they fall into the exploitation category) and shitty anime just don't float this boy's boat. However, Mike and I have been continuing the weekly recommendations of films we should have already seen in the first place. I got the pleasure of viewing Carlito's Way (yeah, what kind of De Palma fan could I be without that one?), Casablanca and John Woo's The Killer (which is way better than Broken Arrow if you didn't already know). Mike was disappointed to see that all of my Woo experience was shitty beyond belief (Mission: Impossible 2 is one of the worst films I've ever seen... Broken Arrow isn't far behind). This week I have Spike Lee's Bamboozled.

And, on a side note, what the fuck is wrong with Tilda Swinton? I had forgotten that the Chronicles of Narnia was the beginning of a series and thought she might have wised up by the time the second one was ready to come out... but no! She's back as the Ice Queen or whatever, which is perfect visually for her... but completely against just about everything else she stands for as a woman and as an actor. I'm sure she's got plenty up her sleeve to continue to make me drool otherwise, but Narnia? Jeez. Don't worry, Tilda, I'll still be the only person rooting for you at this year's Oscars. Fuck Cate Blanchett.

More on the way...

Here's a rundown of some notable DVD releases for 2008 that I haven't already brought to your attention. I'll have a list of what you're missing outside of North America sometime tomorrow.

8 January 2008
Though you're probably most excited about the Korean creature feature Dragon Wars (D-War), here are a few others that might be of interest. Strand will be releasing Daniel Sánchez Arévalo's film debut, DarkBlueAlmostBlack (Azuloscurocasinegro), about a young man's dealings with his ailing father. The film premiered at Toronto in 2006. Water Bears Films will release three DVDs this week: Go West, about internal struggle in the destruction of the former Yugoslavia with Rade Serbedzija (Before the Rain, Eyes Wide Shut); the surreal romance Madagascar Skin, with John Hanna; and a collection of three short films from Greek/British director Constantine Giannaris (From the Edge of the City). The titles include North of Vortex, Caught Looking, and A Place in the Sun.

15 January 2008
Tom DiCillo's comedy Johnny Suede, with a pompadour-donning Brad Pitt, Catherine Keener, Nick Cave, and Samuel L. Jackson, will make its much-delayed US DVD release from Anchor Bay, though it seems his most recent film, Delirious with Steve Buscemi and Michael Pitt, has already made its way out of theatres.

22 Jaunary 2008
Gather together your favorite theatre students (hopefully, that will result in one person at most) for Molière, which most critics compared to Shakespeare in Love as opposed to your run-of-the-mill biopic. French heartthrob of my dreams, Romain Duris, plays the artist before he hit it big. The impressive supporting cast includes Ludivine Sagnier, Edouard Baer, and Laura Morante.

29 January 2008
As it was unofficially announced before making my list of MIA DVDs for 2008, I didn't include Anthony Mann's glorious epic El Cid on the list. The Weinstein Company will release the film, which stars Charlton Heston and Sofia Loren, as the first entry on their Miriam label, which will take the place of what was once Wellspring. Like their releases of Cinema Paradiso, the DVD will be available in a "deluxe edition" and limited 3-disc collector's edition. Magnolia will also release Ira & Abby, from Jennifer Westfeldt, the star and writer of Kissing Jessica Stein. Still about Jews but free of lesbians, Westfeldt and Chris Messina (you may remember him as Claire's Republican boyfriend near the end of Six Feet Under) play the title characters with the likes of Jason Alexander and Fred Willard in support. You can also pick up King of Kong (subtitle: A Fistful of Quarters), a "sports" documentary of epic proportions as a good-natured family man tries to top the all-time high-score of Donkey Kong from an asshole my friend calls a walking Ben Stiller character who looks weirdly like Nick Cave. Check it. Two Nick Cave reference, one post.

February Criterions
Shit, Criterion be releasin' a fuckin' Godard film an' some movie 'bout Chinese dynasties an' some movie from that dood who made Repo Man. Apparently a two-disc of Pierrot le fou, a proper DVD release for Bernardo Bertolucci's Academy Award-winning The Last Emperor, and Ed Harris performing a coup-d'etat in 19th century Nicaragua in Alex Cox's Walker were enough to supply the entire month's Criterion roster. Yeah, awesome month, but I always look forward to the surprise announcement from them (we all knew these 3 were coming). A collection of Ernst Lubitsch musicals will make the month's Eclipse series.

5 February 2008
You can check out Julie Delpy in all her vanity with 2 Days in Paris this week, along with the ever-alluring Rosario Dawson fighting back against her rapists in Descent, which will be available in uncut NC-17 version, as well as the video-store friendly R-rated edit. Universal will have out a double-feature of Imitation of Life, including the 1934 John M. Dahl version as well as Douglas Sirk's more famous 1959 melodrama with Lana Turner. Cross the Canadian lesbian romance When Night Is Falling off my MIA list, as Wolfe will release it as part of their Vintage Collection. And, finally, Kino will bring a box-set of the films of Sergei Paradjanov, including his best regarded film Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors.

12 February 2008
In a curious move, Home Vision will release a single-disc version of The Double Life of Véronique, which may mean you should finally shelve out the money for the Criterion disc. I have no conformation that the double-disc, which has four shorts on it, is going to be discontinued, but if it does, don't say I didn't warn you. Strand will also be putting out Eytan Fox's The Bubble. From the director of Walk on Water and Yossi & Jagger, the film follows three friends in Tel Aviv, their failed attempts at romance, and their relationship with an Israeli Jew. It's not very good, by the way, though I falsely reported when it was hitting theatres that actor Lior Ashkenazi was not in the film (he has a brief cameo as an actor in the play Bent). Ben Affleck's overpraised Gone Baby Gone will also be released.

19 February 2008
First Run Features will release Daniel G. Karslake's For the Bible Tells Me So, a documentary which premiered at this year's Sundance about Christianity and homosexuality. The film balances right-wing bashing with Christian's ridiculous misinterpretation of Bible passages, as well as (most interestingly) how strict Christian families have dealt with homosexuality attacking (I jest) their families. Kurt Cobain: About a Son features a number of previously unreleased audio footage of the oft-misunderstood Nirvana frontman's self-reflection. Magnolia will be releasing Brian De Palma's Redacted and Barbet Schroeder's Terror's Advocate (Avocat de la terreur) on the same day. Redacted is a pretty hot topic as of lately, and you can easily find plenty of articles discussing it... De Palma also won the Best Director prize at this year's Venice Film Festival. Schroeder's documentary focuses on Jacques Vergès, a French political figure who notoriously defended certain Nazi officers. Koko, the Talking Gorilla, this isn't.

11 March 2008
I thought I had added Rolf de Heer's The Quiet Room to my MIA list, but I didn't find it on there. Anyway, Image will be releasing this 1996 drama about a young girl who stops talking. The film was released around the same time as Ponette, unfortunately overshadowed by the sizable praise for that film's young actress. Magnolia will continue their political streak, releasing Tony Kaye's Lake of Fire on the same day. Kaye, who's kept a low-profile after the sparks between him and Edward Norton flew on the set of American History X, spent several years exposing both sides of the abortion debate, apparently to much success.

Also on the horizon...

Image Entertainment will release Douglas Buck's remake of Brian De Palma's Sisters. Buck previously directed the horror anthology Family Portraits, which is kind of a mixed bag of gore and human relations. The remake stars Chloë Sevigny, Stephen Rea, and Lou Doillon (daughter of Jacques Doillon and Jane Birkin) in the Margot Kidder role (I think). I'll likely indulge my curiosity, but this could be really fucking awful. Available on 11 March 2008.

Caution, maybe not...

Ang Lee's Lust, Caution has taken the top prize at this year's Venice Film Festival, just three years after he won the top prize for Brokeback Mountain. Brian de Palma won the best director prize for Redacted, and Todd Haynes' I'm Not There and Abdellatif Kechiche's La Graine et le mulet. Babel co-stars Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt took the acting prizes for I'm Not There and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, respectively. You can find the rest of the award winners here at IndieWire.

The Eclipse of a Man

A dark cloud appears to be hovering above the world of cinema as two of the grand artistes of the medium have passed on within twenty-four hours of one another. First, Ingmar Bergman, and now, Michelangelo Antonioni. Would it seem fitting that the two were rivals and disliked one another's work? They both questioned human existence through interpersonal relationships, yet their worlds and their visions were not the same. Antonioni isn't mimicked as much as Bergman, but his signature and effect on cinema is equally great. Then again, why would anyone think they could do Antonioni better than the man himself? His passion was intense, and his films were always controversial from the near-riot at the Cannes screening of L'avventura to the boundary-pushing sexuality of Blow-Up. When The Passenger was rereleased a few years ago, one critic lamented that at one point in history, the films of Antonioni were part of the mainstream. Now, you'll be lucky to get a pompous film student undergrad to sit through his work. The world may have changed, but Antonioni's work stayed the same... and it's still as poignant and arresting as it was over forty years ago.

Notable Filmography:
Eros (2004) - with Steven Soderbergh and Wong Kar-wai
Beyond the Clouds (1995) - with Wim Wenders
Identification of a Woman (1982)
The Passenger (1975)
Zabriskie Point (1970)
Blow-Up (1966)
The Red Desert (1964)
L'eclisse (1962)
La notte (1961)
L'avventura (1960)
Il grido (1957)

Other Assorted Filmography:
The Mystery of Oberwald (1981)
China (1972)
La amiche (1955)
Love in the City (1953)
Youth and Perversion/The Vanquished (1953)
Story of a Love Affair (1950)

Extracurricular:
Blow Out (1981) - Brian de Palma's ode to Blow-Up
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) - Don't tell me you don't see the influence
Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession (2004) - Documentary about the famous Z Channel, which aired L'avventura unedited during its short run
Vive l'amour (1994) - Antonioni's influence struck a chord with Asian filmmakers, especially in Tsai Ming-liang's debut film
Performance (1970) - Though closer in relation to Bergman, the film contains plenty of characteristics of Blow-Up
Phoenix (2006) - A gay remake of L'avventura
Under the Sand (2000) - François Ozon does his best L'avventura with Charlotte Rampling as a woman whose husband disappears mysteriously
Climates (2006) - Antonioni was a big influence on Turkish director Nuri Bilge Ceylan for this film
Paris, Texas (1984) - Wim Wenders' classic, for which he took serious inspiration from Antonioni
Twentynine Palms (2003) - Hello, Zabriskie Point!

Shitstorm, USA

Without further adieu... the worst films of 2006. And a big congratulations to Parker Posey, who had a double showing of crappy movies this year!

10. The Hills Have Eyes - dir. Alexandre Aja - USA - 20th Century Fox

With the promise he showed in High Tension (Haute tension), Alexandre Aja could have been one of the finest of the contemporary horror directors, as long as he wasn’t allowed to write the screenplays. The Hills Have Eyes may be a faithful remake, and it might have earned necessity if it actually had anything to say about the American nuclear family and social outsiders, instead of just having the American flag used as a tool for gore. Regrettably, it becomes another forgettable failure by Hollywood to reclaim the horror glory of the 70s.

9. Nathalie... - dir. Anne Fontaine - France - Koch Lorber Films

Filmmakers that want you to applaud them for their supposed cleverness make me ill. Essentially a lame excuse to get three respected French actors (Fanny Ardant, Emmanuelle Béart, Gérard Depardieu) together onscreen, Nathalie… screams deception from its earliest moments. The director may pass off her stupid surprise ending that she uncomfortably hints toward throughout the entire film as a way to explore the inner workings of bored, middle-aged Ardant’s sexual and personal reawakening through her relationship with stripper Béart, but the irony of that statement would be that this exploration is just as false as her cinematic trickery.

8. The Black Dahlia - dir. Brian de Palma - USA - Universal Studios

If you needed the definitive proof that Brian de Palma has lost it, see The Black Dahlia, his epic misfire about one of the most notorious unsolved murder cases in California. Though Hilary Swank, as the femme fatale, adds a certain spunk to the otherwise limp film, the rest of the cast, especially Aaron Eckhart as Josh Hartnett’s partner and the horrible Scarlett Johansson, whose good looks seem to have blinded Hollywood execs to her lack of talent, as Eckhart’s goody-two-shoe wife, seems like they have no idea what they’re doing here. There’s a scene or two that recall some of the best moments in The Untouchables or Dressed to Kill, but within the lousy film, they just frustrate and become sad reminders of what a fine American director has become late in his career.

7. The OH in Ohio - dir. Billy Kent - USA - HBO

Though her performance in Adam & Steve might have suggested that Parker Posey was back at what she does best, The OH in Ohio is a frightening counterexample, placing her in one of her most rotten, least interesting roles as a stuck-up ad exec who can’t orgasm. Sex & the City is likely to blame for paving the way for a film that’s premise follows a woman searching for clitoral stimulation and then becoming addicted to her vibrator, but it’s writer/director Billy Kent who should be slapped for not only placing the vibrant Posey in such a crummy role, but for thinking we care about any dramatic conclusions she might come to throughout the course of the film.

6. Art School Confidential - dir. Terry Zwigoff - USA - Sony Pictures

It’s one thing to be a flat satire as Art School Confidential is, but it’s quite another to be a confusing mess of a film that has little idea of what it’s trying to say or do. Art School Confidential is a such a mystifying muddle that it’s almost difficult to put into words how bad the film is. I wanted to just plainly state, “this movie totally sucks,” but that wouldn‘t successfully explain my hatred for the film. Art School Confidential’s breed of satire reduces characters to the most inane variety of pretentious art school snob from characters who function as a talking thesaurus to oversensitive social rejects whose mommies told them their paintings of kittens were beautiful. All of this was better portrayed and examined in the later seasons of Six Feet Under, so to see a dumbing down of these criticisms feels unnecessary. Yet if Art School Confidential were simply lacking necessity, it would have been forgettable instead of awful. Instead, Daniel Clowes (who worked prior with Zwigoff on the overrated Ghost World) adapted his own comic, stretching it into a colossal disaster of superfluous side-characters that rivals Peter Jackson’s King Kong and a shockingly miscalculated murder subplot. Basically, in a year where mediocre films flourished at the box office, Art School Confidential would have been refreshingly bad if it weren’t such an unsatisfactory pile of shit.

5. The Puffy Chair - dir. Jay Duplass - USA - Roadside Attractions

Though it didn’t make my official ten best of the year, I Am a Sex Addict is the direct counter of a film like The Puffy Chair. Using the digital technology as a way to expertly combine documentary and fiction in a stunning examination of the self, I Am a Sex Addict was the best use of this media this year. The Puffy Chair, on the other hand, does precisely what worried film purists when the technology became consumer-level. Though maybe better than a bunch of overweight kids with black-eyeliner making their own backyard horror flicks, The Puffy Chair takes us on an annoying road-trip with Josh (Mark Duplass, screenwriter and brother of the director), his girlfriend (Kathryn Aselton), and brother (Rhett Wilkins) as they pick up and deliver an ugly reclining chair to his father on his birthday. Personal revelations and conflicts ensue, predictably, in a film that mistakes awkward moments where characters speak in silly, cutesy voices to one another as intimate drama. As the film is entirely surface-level, it’s hard to tag along with the brothers’ road-trip when you can’t stand the people with whom you’re traveling. Josh’s girlfriend accomplishes the feat of being the most irritating character committed to video since Fran Drescher became the nanny of a lame white gentile‘s three children. The Puffy Chair falls apart as a result of its good intentions, a film that’s exposure of characters’ flaws alienates instead of reaching the greater truth it hoped to achieve.

4. The Wicker Man - dir. Neil LaBute - USA - Warner Bros.

One of the perks of working at a video store is the sigh of relief you can make when you've rented a movie that certainly wasn't worth the four bucks you would have wasted otherwise. Unfortunately, it also permits you to rent movies that are guaranteed to suck because you don't have to pay for them. Neil LaBute's remake of The Wicker Man is a fine example of a "well, we don't have to pay for it" waste of time. In all honesty, I ended up fast-forwarding most of the film, as I found Nicolas Cage and his fear of bees too much to handle. But what I did see was one of the most undeniably laughable shitstorms ever. In watching any of LaBute's other films, specifically the ones based on his own plays, you can gather that he has little flare as a cinema director, but this prior knowledge wouldn't be sufficient warning for the atrocity of The Wicker Man. With a bizarre supporting cast that includes Frances Conroy as a creepier version of Ruth from Six Feet Under, Ellen Burstyn wearing make-up leftover from Braveheart, and Helen Hun... I mean, Leelee Sobieski, Cage cluelessly wanders around a town of women trying to find a missing girl. There's potential for The Wicker Man to be resurrected as some sort of midnight movie, but you won't find me in the audience.

3. Another Gay Movie - dir. Todd Stephens - USA - TLA Releasing

I usually reserve a spot on my worst of the year list for whatever passes as queer cinema in a given year. Last year I chose another TLA Releasing turd, Slutty Summer, and this year, the prize goes to Another Gay Movie. Slutty Summer managed to be a vacant, Sex & the City for gay men vanity project, but this is far worse. Another Gay Movie is a thankless remake of American Pie, another shitfest, and this alone should be enough for inclusion. Instead, Another Gay Movie is offensive in ways it didn't try to be. It's hateful, thoroughly unpleasant, and simply ugly. As my friend Bradford put it, queer history beyond the first airing of Queer as Folk is presented as a graveyard for tired fags and old queens. Stephens, who wrote the screenplays for Edge of Seventeen and Gypsy 83 (which he also directed), masks what one might suspect as subversiveness with a celebration of filth and ignorant hatred.

2. Hard Candy - dir. David Slade - USA - Lionsgate

Seldom does a film so nauseatingly call attention to its craft as artlessly as Hard Candy does. As a thriller, it pretends to be socially viable, turning the tables on predatory child molesters having the young girl as the tormentor, without really saying anything. In every frame, you can’t help but notice that Hard Candy is an assembly of people “doing their job.” With the annoyingly flashy cinematography, simply passable acting and, especially, the by-the-numbers duplicity of the screenplay, the film’s ability to thrill, shock, or awe washes away to reveal the inner devices of a hammy, nasty movie, devoid of the passion that drives the more artfully-inclined to create cinema.

1. For Your Consideration - dir. Christopher Guest - USA - Warner Independent

It probably goes without saying that Phat Girlz is worse than Christopher Guest’s latest, but you’d already avoided seeing that one. Guest continues his downhill plunge with a film that makes his middling A Mighty Wind look as funny as the superb Waiting for Guffman. As a satire, it’s trite and obvious (do we really need someone to make fun of Entertainment Tonight?), but as a comedy, it’s dim-witted and unfunny (unless you think a joke about Hollywood exec not knowing of Internet is comedic brilliance: “that’s the one with e-mail, right?”). Guest never commits to the promise he made of stepping away from the mockumentary-style here, creating a film that consists almost entirely of characters being interviewed for television. Most of us can appreciate a good slap at Hollywood, especially the year after it awarded an Oscar to what will go down in history as the worst Best Picture winner ever, but when it’s delivered in such a self-congratulatory, witless package as For Your Consideration, I start to get angry. The great irony of it all is the award attention the usually wonderful Catherine O’Hara, as the lead actress Marilyn Hack (get it?), is getting for her clueless performance in a film that’s unknowingly as awful as Home for Purim, the hammy 1940s melodrama at the center of this picture.